Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
by mr-and-mrs-bates
Summary: A glimpse into Christmases past and present throughout the courtship of John and Anna. This is my secret santa gift for @awesomegreentie that was organized by @batesessecretservice .


**A/N: Happy New Year's Eve. This was part of my Secret Santa Fic exchange present for Awesomegreentie on Tumblr. Thanks to Nurs3gir1 and drstacib for their lovely feedback and edits. I hope you all enjoy. Awesomegreentie just asked for baby bats and fluff. I also know how much she loves the bromance so I included that as well. Appreciate all your reviews.**

 **Christmas 2005**

The sound of Christmas music filled the sitting room at the Crawley mansion. The scent of the massive Douglas Fir tree added to the ambiance, as did the mountain of presents piled beneath it. The entire Crawley family was there as were their significant others, and nearly all the employees from Robert's company had come along for the annual Christmas party. Everywhere he looked there was some indication of the warmth and joy that was the holiday spirit. And yet John could not find it in his heart to fully throw himself into the festivities. The holidays had never been a particularly happy time for him and truth be told, if he had the option he probably would have been cooped up at home with a good book that he'd read a million times over while nursing a cup of tea. But Robert had done everything short of threatening to tear him limb from limb if he didn't show. Even going so far as to throw a guilt trip as to how Cora would feel if John didn't at least make an appearance. Robert finally relented after John told him he would stay for one hour and no more than that.

John took a look at his watch for the fifth time that evening; he'd already fulfilled his promise. Still, he must have looked like a poor excuse for a party guest. John didn't interact much unless spoken to, and even then he wasn't particularly engaged. Instead, he nursed his mixture of cranberry juice and ginger ale in silence in the library. He gently rotated his wrist in a rhythm back and forth causing the mixture to swirl around in his glass. Yet another reason John didn't care too much for the party scene. Although he had given up drinking well over two years ago, it was difficult not to partake in his usual order. God. What he wouldn't give for a glass of scotch in a situation like this. Though he doubted it would calm his nerves. John leaned against the pool table in the center of the room and used his free hand to push the cue ball against the neatly-formed pack of numbered balls causing them to clatter against each other, and disperse across the green felt.

John supposed he could call it an evening now, but something (or rather someone) had kept him from leaving just yet. His eyes panned over to the entryway each time he heard the front door open and close, a chill following after as a flurry of snowflakes settled on the rug that lined the foyer. John listened to the initial excitement and greeting that followed at the arrival of each new guest. His hopeful eyes quickly fell in disappointment. It wasn't her. He let out a small sigh and stared mindlessly at the roaring fire in the fireplace.

Anna had made an appearance every year for the last five years. She was an old school friend of Robert's eldest daughter, Mary. Anna was a lovely young woman with alabaster skin, golden hair, and crystal blue eyes. During their brief encounters over the years he surmised that she was quite brilliant, a right-fighter, and a social butterfly (though she managed to make those she was speaking to feel important). She had the most charming laugh that was like music to his ears and the sweetest disposition he'd ever encountered since his mother. Oddly enough, they didn't have much chance for more than a few minutes interaction at these things. John mostly just admired her from a distance. It must have seemed silly, or even pathetic, to have been pining away for her like some school boy with a crush when she was so clearly out of his league. " _Still though, there wasn't anything wrong with being just friends...was there?"_ he thought to himself. John let out a heavy sigh and took another swig from his glass.

"Hey stranger." A cheerful and familiar voice spoke up softly from behind him.

His head slowly turned in the direction from which it came. A slow, subtle smile crept up his face at the recognition of the figure standing in the doorway on the opposite side of the table. John set his drink down and turned his body to face her. "Hello," he replied in kind. "How have you been?"

"I'm good. Busy. But things have been going better than expected working with Mary," she said. Even though they were the only two people in the room Anna moved closer so that no one else could hear them.

"You're a braver person than I am, Gunga Din." The comment elicited a chuckle from Anna.

"And you? Still writing?"

"I'm between novels right now. Still tossing around ideas in my head, but it's coming along. In the interim I've been helping Robert out as a property manager for his estate in Scotland. It needs a lot of work, but whatever I can't do on my own I've been hiring crews to complete. Robert claims he can't do it himself. Part of me is skeptical, and part of me believes him." His eyes wrinkled in the corners as he offered a half smile her way.

"He's a good friend."

"That he is," John agreed.

"You think I could take a peek at your next novel?" she inquired with a raised eyebrow. "When it's nearly done of course," Anna added.

"You want to read my novel?" he asked skeptically.

"I read the last one. It was brilliant."

"Thanks."

An awkward silence settled between them. Her eyes raked over him from top to bottom. "You clean up nice...that is to say, you look better than you have in the past." _God she was mucking this up._

"It's quite alright. I knew what you meant. When I gave up drinking, food became my crutch. I gained a bit of weight and after that I took up running. Turns out you need an iron lung if you want to keep up running and smoking. So I eventually had to kick that habit as well."

"Yes, that must be it," Anna replied before chewing nervously on her bottom lip. "I'm proud of you for giving up drinking and the smoking too. It's not good for your health."

"I think you are the only person outside of Robert and my mother that is this concerned about me," he said half-joking. "It's kind of nice to have someone other than Robert fawning all over me."

The gentle timbre of his voice sent a shiver down her spine. Anna pushed a piece of loose hair behind her ear and cleared her throat. "I wasn't sure you'd be here this year," she commented while making her way around the pool table to greet him.

He began to extend his hand for a shake, but was caught off guard by her leaning in to kiss him warmly on the cheek. It couldn't have lasted for more than a few seconds, but the warmth was there all the same. For a moment, John thought he could feel the sensation of her smiling as she did it. It wasn't until she pulled away that John realized he had instinctively reached for the small of her back to bring her in closer. When she pulled away he had the most genuine smile on his face.

"There it is," she stated triumphantly. A smile overtaking her own face. "A full smile. You always have this look of torture about your face."

John cringed inwardly and his cheeks turned red in embarrassment. He nervously scratched the back of his neck. "Is it that noticeable?"

"Only to the untrained eye," she teased with a smile. "But you have a tendency to curl your upper lip slightly, like you just tasted something bitter." The two of them shared a laugh.

"I hope you don't think it's anything against you. It's just I'm not a big fan of Christmas," John stated as he shoved his hands into his pockets and looked down at his shoes.

"Not a fan of Christmas?" she exclaimed in disbelief, "You can't be serious."

"I am, I'm sorry to say," he swallowed hard. "I hate it really."

"Well as I live and breathe, I didn't realize I was conversing with the Grinch." She could see he wasn't laughing at her comment. The smile that once graced her face turned upside down and her tone became sympathetic. "What could have possibly happened to you to make you hate Christmas?"

"I just never had a good Christmas growing up. Robert always does his civic duty by inviting me here; I think he has high hopes it will bring me out of my shell. But I just...I don't know. I see him here with his family and it makes me take a good, hard look at what I'm missing from my life."

Anna inched a little closer towards John. She was now sidled up beside him, resting up against the edge of the pool table. Their hands were almost touching. John turned away to look at the guests playing a round of Charades in the other room. It was all he could do to help himself from staring at her longer than he should. She just looked so damn gorgeous in her fitted, red, Christmas jumper and her skin tight, black leggings and matching black ankle boots. He tugged at his collar to cool himself and wiped at his brow with the back of his sleeve. John wasn't sure why he was telling her this, he'd never been one for pity. But she was just so easy to open up to and she seemed genuinely concerned. "I almost didn't come this year," he confessed.

"I'm glad you did or I'd be all on my own tonight," she said. Perhaps she was being too obvious, Anna began to second guess herself. After years of waiting for him to make a move, she was tired of waiting.

John let out a groan, "I don't know that you are doing much better by tagging along with me."

Anna rolled her eyes. He could be so self-deprecating sometimes. But there was still something about him that made her fall harder for him every time they crossed paths. His quiet demeanor, his soulful eyes, the way his hands flailed when he really took an interest in a subject. Anna turned to face him. "And just who would you suggest I tag along with?" John looked on in stunned silence. "In case you hadn't noticed, Mr. Bates, we are the only ones at this party that don't have a partner."

John took a moment to survey his surroundings and noticed she was right. It had been some time since he'd been with a woman that took an interest in him. He wasn't sure if he was misreading her signals or if Anna truly liked him.

"Anna! John!" Cora called out from the sitting room as she poked her head around the corner. John and Anna both produced a small space between one another and looked over to the hostess. "Are you two going to join in on the next round of Charades?"

"What do you say?" John asked as he looked over to her. "Shall we join them?" He waggled his eyebrows.

"You want to play?" she asked in disbelief.

"If you want to," he responded. John would have done anything to spend a few more minutes with her.

Anna pursed her lips as she gave the suggestion some thought. "Sure."

John held out his hand to lead her to the other room.

Anna gladly accepted the gesture and let her hand slide into his own. Their fingers interlocked as they began to walk into the sitting room. Suddenly Anna froze in her tracks. "But first I think we should see about getting you into the Christmas spirit."

John tilted his head in confusion.

Anna's face erupted into a smile as she pointed up to the sprig of mistletoe that was hanging above their heads.

"Anna...we don't…" Before he could be noble, Anna had already pressed her lips firmly against his. It didn't take much more prodding on her part for John to take the lead and kiss her back.

"Happy Christmas, Mr. Bates," Anna said sweetly as she pulled away.

John hummed contently. "Merry Christmas, Anna." He placed another peck on her lips for good measure. His hands snaking around her waist to pull her in closer.

"We should probably hurry up before one of them comes back to fetch us," she pointed out, still wrapped in his embrace.

"Let them wait," he countered with a mischievous grin.

* * *

 **Christmas 2006**

John had been awake for at least an hour, and there was still plenty to do before he had to pick up his mother for Christmas Eve dinner. In that moment, nothing could have pulled him away from the gorgeous creature occupying the space opposite him in his bed. She was barely covered by the comforter, and the sight was glorious. A gentle snore escaped her lips and John had to withhold a laugh. They would be running behind schedule if he didn't wake her soon. He eased himself down onto the mattress and left a trail of kisses from her forehead, down her cheek, and finally settling upon her lips. "Good morning, my darling," he whispered in between pecks.

She grumbled at the thought of waking up now, but she couldn't complain at the reason for it. With her eyes still closed she began to reciprocate his actions. "You're lucky I love you so much," she responded sweetly before opening her eyes.

John chuckled into her ear before pulling back to look at her smiling face. "Really? Why is that?"

"I wouldn't let anyone else wake me up this early without scowling at them over my morning coffee," Anna teased.

"Well…if it helps" John sat up and reached over to the bedside table, "I already brought up your coffee just the way you like it."

"And it's still fresh?" Anna pushed herself up to receive her morning treat. "How could you have known when I'd wake up?" John revealed a thermos to her and shook it gingerly in front of her. "You think of everything."

"Whatever m'lady wants, m'lady gets." They both shared a laugh. "Though I must admit, I'm still a bit tired after last night's excursions. If you want to have another go at me before I pick up my Mum I'll have to grab something to eat."

"You are a cheeky beggar," she said with a playful shove at his arm. Anna became serious as she gave the offer some thought. "That does sound tempting," she said as she removed the lid of the thermos to smell the fresh coffee. The aroma hit her nose and it was pure bliss. "But perhaps we should wait until after your mother leaves before we begin our one year anniversary." It was not more than a week after the Christmas party at the Crawley's the previous year that John had officially asked Anna permission to call her his girlfriend. By that point he was beyond smitten with Miss Anna May Smith and his eyes had been opened to all the magic that Christmas had to offer.

"One year? Are you sure?" He asked feigning ignorance.

Anna nodded her head eagerly. "Quite certain."

"Do I look like the type of man to have an anniversary on Christmas Eve?"

"John Bates, are you saying you've forgotten our anniversary?"

"Is it likely? As I recall, a certain blonde nymph kept referring to me as 'The Grinch' until I bent to her every whim."

Anna pretended to be insulted, but she could never be cross with him. Not her John. Not when he sat beside her looking devastatingly handsome in his plain white T-shirt and old pair of blue striped pajama bottoms. She could feel her heart pounding through her chest at the very sight of him. His chin and jawline was peppered in a light layer of scruff; he'd need to shave before his mother arrived. The all too familiar lock of hair that so often sprang loose of its pomade confines hung over his forehead, taunting and begging her to be tamed. Anna's eyes travelled a little further south; framed between his biceps was a hint of chest hair peeking out from the opening of his shirt. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"Just lucky I guess," he quipped.

"I've been thinking…" she said before taking a sip of her coffee.

"That could be dangerous."

"I'm serious."

John's face turned to stone and his brow furrowed. "Is everything alright?" He asked before taking her free hand in his own.

"John your mother is coming over for a holiday feast."

"Yes, I'm well aware."

This was not the first time Anna would be dining with John's mother, but it was the first time they'd be spending the holidays together. She had every intention of making the best impression possible on Margaret Bates as a hostess. But as she considered the way John's flat looked, it was every bit what one would have expected from a bachelor pad. And with John's military background everything was kept in pristine condition, right down to the way he folded the sheets on his bed. One would barely suspect someone lived here if it wasn't for the few items Anna had smuggled over in the past year and had left strewn about. "It's just I think we should host Christmas Eve dinner at my place."

"Your place is practically across town. What's wrong with here?"

"It just doesn't feel like Christmas here. You don't have any decor or a tree even."

"That's true, but you know I've never been big on Christmas," he reasoned.

"Yes, but I thought I had changed that for you," Anna said with slumped shoulders. She moved to put the thermos aside. "Do you still not enjoy it?"

"Oh my darling, of course I do. I just didn't see the point of going overboard when…"

"When what?"

"I was going to surprise you tonight," John stammered. He stood up and went to his sock drawer and removed what appeared to be a small box.

Anna felt her stomach flip in eager anticipation. She had loved John for quite some time, and known him for even longer. But Anna had to admit to herself she did not see this coming so soon. Not when he had gone through such a bitter divorce before.

John joined her once more on the bed and scooted closer before having her hold her hands out and close her eyes. He let out an anxious sigh before placing the gift in the palm of her hand. " _Oh Lord. What if she hated it or flat out refused?"_ he thought to himself.

Anna felt a small weight in her hands, somewhat firm but too light to be a jewelry box. The edges were rigid and rough like wood. "Can I open my eyes now?" she asked.

"Yes, please."

Anna's eyes opened and looked down to find what appeared to be a small cottage made of matchsticks with a ribbon on the top to hang like an ornament. It was beautifully painted to look like it was decorated for Christmas with snow on the rooftop and a Christmas tree in the window. "Oh John, it's lovely," she gasped. "This will look perfect on my tree."

" _Our_ tree," he corrected. She looked back at him in confusion. "I had that ornament made to look like our home...the one I bought." Anna sat staring at him in stunned silence.

"I know this probably isn't the most traditional way of asking…but I was scouting out properties for Robert two months ago to invest in. I ran across the listing for this one and it seemed perfect for the two of us with room to spare." He smiled meekly at her; his cheeks flushed. Anna blushed back in return. Surely she wasn't opposed to the idea or she would have said so by now. "I've spoken to Robert, and he helped me get a good deal on it."

"Wait...wait..wait.." she said shaking her head back and forth in disbelief. "You told Robert you wanted to move in with me?"

"I did."

"Before you spoke to me?"

John's face quickly fell. He was immediately regretting the decision to embark on such a life changing decision on his own. "You don't mind, do you?" he asked. John hoped she wasn't too cross with him, and would realize that this had taken a lot of courage on his part.

"Of course I mind. In fact, I'd give you a smack if I didn't want to kiss you so much I could burst." She practically jumped into his lap in an effort to get as close as possible to him. The tears that collected on the brim of her eyelashes spoke volumes. Her mouth already overtaking his as she kissed him fervently.

"Happy Anniversary, Anna," John whispered as he cupped her face with one of his hands.

"Happy Anniversary to you. Now I can see why you didn't want to decorate, there'd be no point if you were moving."

"I promise next year, we will pull out all the stops and you can turn our home into a winter wonderland."

"Home," she said with a broad grin. John could tell she was already doing interior decoration on their home in her head. Although he'd be lying if he said he hadn't already done the same thing himself. He was sure they had similar plans for how they would fill those spare rooms in due time. "I can't wait to see it. You'll have to tell me all about it."

"I'm not sure if we'll have enough time before I have to pick up my mother. Not unless you join me in the shower."

"Mr. Bates, this is rapidly becoming my favorite Christmas ever," Anna said in a husky voice as she began to help him out of his shirt. She hopped off his lap and began scampering towards the bathroom, leaving a trail of clothing in her wake.

As he watched his girlfriend move in the most hypnotic fashion, he couldn't help but say aloud, "God bless us, everyone."

* * *

 **Christmas 2007**

"You look exquisite tonight my love," John professed as he took his eyes off the road momentarily to glance at Anna in the passenger seat. She was wearing a burgundy dress with black stockings and little black wedge boots. Her hair was pinned back in an updo; it was different from what John was used to seeing, but he was falling in love with the new style. It revealed her neckline and collar bone to him in the most sensual way. Anna was proudly sporting the diamond earrings he'd gotten her for her birthday and a silver bracelet. The whole ensemble made her look very chic.

"Why, thank you," she responded. Anna snuck one last peek at herself in the reflection of the visor mirror. She flipped it back into place before giving John a thorough once over. "You don't look half bad yourself, Mr. Bates."

John was dressed to the nines in his best black suit and a green tie per Anna's request to compliment his eyes and go with the holiday theme. His hair was slicked back and he had dabbed on her favorite cologne. It seemed like every time she looked over at him, he was already preoccupied with staring back at her.

"What?" She asked with a giggle.

"Nothing." But it wasn't nothing. He loved the way her face lit up around this time of year. Loved how the Christmas lights reflected in her crystal blue eyes and how she sung Christmas carols at the top of her voice whenever they came on the radio. Most of all John loved how Anna made him enjoy the holiday just as much as she did. He would gladly spend hours window shopping with her or decorating their home. A home that they had made their own; a place he could see himself growing old with her and raising a family with her. John loved the way she put extra whip cream and mini marshmallows into her cocoa the night before Christmas and the way she shook each of her presents in an effort to figure out what it was before opening it. "I'm just so happy," he said matter factly, "You make me feel complete and content."

"Trying to butter me up since I didn't make you wear that reindeer jumper?"

"No. I mean it wouldn't have been my first choice…"

"It wouldn't have even been your last choice," she corrected him.

"Anyway, it it's what you would have wanted, I'd have done it."

"I know you would," she answered back quickly. "That's why I love you so much." Anna gave his hand a squeeze. "It's also why I'll be sure to save a spot for you under the mistletoe."

"Did I ever tell you just how much you have warmed me up to the idea of Christmas?"

"You'll have to remind me later tonight when we get home. We're here," she said as they pulled up to the Crawley home. "Now be on your best behavior Mr. Bates or you'll get nothing but coal in your stocking this year."

Throughout the evening John couldn't help but keep looking over at Anna as he stood beside Robert and watched her mingle with the Crawley women. Not for the first time in his life did he feel like pinching himself at his luck. To have found such a wonderful woman to have brought so much color and love back into his life. After all of the Christmas presents had been exchanged and most of the eggnog was consumed John made his way over to the circle of women and asked Anna to join him for a walk outside. She happily obliged after a playful warning from Robert not to do anything he wouldn't do.

John led her away from the house, he held her hand momentarily, but when he could feel his palms getting sweaty he pulled them away and tucked them back into his pants pockets. There was a noticeable chill in the air and a light layer of snow on the ground, but even the cold couldn't deter him.

"Are you not feeling well?" she asked when they were well out of earshot. He had seemed uneasy on the car ride up and when he was holding her hand she could feel him shaking.

"No. I'm fine. More than fine," he quickly answered.

She pulled her coat around her more tightly to keep the cold air out. "Then if you don't mind can we go back inside? It's colder out here than I expected."

"Not just yet." He removed his coat to place over Anna's shoulders and moved his hands up and down her arms to warm her. "Better?"

"Much," Anna said as she slipped her arm into the loop of John's arm. She offered a gentle smile in return even though it hurt her face to move it in the cold air.

Her cheeks were rosy and John didn't want to keep her out here any longer than she had to be. But he was sure that the moment he revealed his surprise for her, she'd appreciate the fact that he had gone through such efforts and brought her out here. They walked a little ways down the path that led towards the gardens on the property. Anna suspected that John wanted to make use of some mistletoe he had stashed away in his pocket and had picked an area that afforded them a bit of privacy. When they reached the center point of the rose gardens that was anchored by a gazebo, John asked her to wait there and said he'd be right back as he ran off behind a set of hedges.

"John? What are you doing?"

"Just give me a few seconds," he called out from the other side of the bushes.

Anna waited as patiently as she could. Suddenly the garden came to life with the brilliant illumination of a thousand christmas lights strung up in every possible shape, size, and color. They were covering each hedge and outlined the frame of the marble arches that lined the garden walls. Anna was left awe struck and covered her mouth with her hands. She turned at the sound of his shoes crunching in the snow behind her. "How? When did you do all of this?"

John smirked with a hint of pride. "I worked on it when I told you I had to check on Robert's property in Scotland. I know this is your favorite time of year and how much you enjoy the lights more than anything." He approached her slowly and extended his hands to reach hers. "You're shivering, my darling. Give me your hands, I'll keep you warm." Anna did as she was asked without hesitation. His warm palms slide over her own and a wave of heat consumed her body. "I was just thinking to myself, this is where we met in April all those years ago. It was for an Easter brunch. I didn't know it yet, but you would change my life unexpectedly in the most wonderful of ways." Tears threatened to overtake him, but he prevailed and continued to speak. "This is where we became more than friends. You've had my heart ever since."

Anna had tears sliding down her cheeks now, but she didn't dare blink them away for fear that she would miss one second of this incredible gesture on John's part.

"The view here is perfect. With the lights strewn about and snowflakes cascading down into your hair. And you my darling, the most beautiful view of all are standing next to me. I know I've made you wait, probably far longer than was fair. But I had to wait for the perfect moment, and well, this is it."

John fumbled in his pocket and by then Anna was fairly certain what was coming, but nothing could have prepared her for it. Even if she had rehearsed the answer in her head a thousand times, she had not envisioned such a perfect proposal.

He was on bended knee now and pulled out the black, velvet ring box. One hand was still holding hers in his own and John pressed his lips on her ring finger before opening the box. His warm lips felt like heaven against her skin as they caressed her knuckle. "See. I told you it was perfect."

"Oh my God. John. What are you doing?" She was too moved by her emotions to speak another word. It wasn't as if she had totally written off the idea that John would ever want to marry, but after he had asked her to move in Anna had assumed that would be it for them. And while she was more than happy to be sharing a home with him, Anna knew in her heart of hearts, it would never sit right with her until she was Mrs. John Bates.

"Anna, I have to ask you a question," he said simply.

She let out a small chuckle and the tears were falling more freely now.

"Will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?"

Anna nodded her head eagerly. "Yes. I will marry you, John Bates." She began to help him rise to his feet and before long he was standing and lifting her up into his arms so that she was at least a foot off of the ground. He was spinning her in circles and kissing every inch of her skin that he could get to. Whispering over and over between kisses, "I love you." When he set her back down on the ground, Anna giggled and said, "This is quite possibly the greatest Christmas present I've ever received. I don't know how you are going to manage to outdo yourself next year."

"Yes, I may have set the bar a little too high for myself. But, I'll enjoy the challenge. So long as I'm spending every Christmas with you from here on out."

"You have me, John. To have and to hold." The two shared a sweet embrace and passionate kiss. Suddenly, the cold weather didn't seem to be much of a bother anymore; the two were too elated as they dreamt about their future.

* * *

 **Christmas 2009**

John sat in his office with his finger tips hovering over the keys of the typewriter. He'd had writer's block for the better part of the month. His mind never wandering far from the welfare of his beloved wife. This time of year was always her favorite, but not this year. She had all but insisted they not buy a tree, refrained from putting up a single decoration, and declined every invitation they received for Christmas parties across town, including the Crawley's. He normally would have found it unorthodox and concerning, but John knew all too well the reason for her reluctance to participate in this year's festivities. And even he was a little more than down in the mouth about the turn of events this year.

Their engagement hadn't lasted long. Anna convinced him she was perfectly content to have a wedding at the local registrar office. Her reasoning being that she couldn't find any reason to delay her becoming Mrs. Bates any longer. And how could he ever find fault in such logic? He'd wanted to make her his with equal fervor. Their time as newlyweds was well spent in the bedroom. She expressed her desire to start a family as soon as possible, and though he'd never seen himself as a father before Anna, admittedly he couldn't stop entertaining the idea now. John wanted nothing more than to give her everything she desired and what better proof of their love than a child.

Unfortunately after over a year of trying there had been no such luck. And then in October she had discovered she was pregnant, only to miscarry a few days later. Their dreams were shattered. Their souls were devastated. They both took it badly but Anna seemed to be experiencing depression, and for good reason. She was a born mother, but she was without a child. A child that John couldn't seem to give her. When Mary found out she was expecting for the second time in November she tendered her resignation.

" _I know it seems silly," she said, "but I just can't be around her right now. It's too hard. She already has one and now another on the way. And we don't even have one."_

" _That doesn't seem silly." He had said in an attempt to cheer her up. "My darling, you have every right to be upset...to be disappointed. Do you not think I feel it too?" They spent the rest of the night holding each other in bed as she cried herself to sleep. The next day when John came home the door to the spare room, what was meant to be their nursery, had been shut._

The sound of three quick knocks on the door stirred him from his thoughts. John looked up to find Robert standing there. "How's it going, old boy?"

"As well as can be," John replied sounding none too optimistic. They were surviving in the wake of their grief. Parents without a child to bury, but it was still loved and very sorely missed.

"Are you sure I can't convince you and Anna to join us tonight for the Christmas party? It might be good for her...er...for the both of you that is," Robert suggested.

John knew he was trying to be helpful. But socializing and putting on a fake smile while their friends' and colleagues' children ran circles around them was not his idea of fun. Not this year, anyhow.

" 'Fraid not mate. Anna just wants it to be the two of us for Christmas Eve. I'll probably bring mum around Christmas Day. I'm hoping she can help cheer Anna a bit. Honestly, Rob...I don't know what we'll do if Anna can't move past this."

"You'll be fine mate. You've roughed bigger storms than this in your lifetime," he said, referring to their time together serving in the Army. "The doctor said you can try again?" Robert was normally not this open; he hoped he wasn't overstepping his bounds.

"He did. Said to give it a month or two. Then we'll have to wait whenever she's ready," John said with a shrug of his shoulders. "Is anyone ever really ready to move on from something like this?" John was asking aloud for himself more than he was Robert.

"You will. It's never forgotten about but time has a way of healing things. We experienced it after Cora slipped getting out of the tub. The doctor said to give it time and try to do something to help keep her busy...take her mind off of things. We never got pregnant again, but Cora began volunteering at the hospital and that seemed to help her move past her grief. Gave her a sense of purpose so-to-speak."

"Thanks Rob. I'll give it some consideration and see what I can do to help her. I'd do anything."

"I know you would. That's how I know you'll make it," Robert said with a smile. "Happy Christmas."

"Happy Christmas, Rob."

"You should cut out of here early. Go spend some time with your wife, beat the Christmas rush out of here and avoid the traffic."

For a moment John almost hesitated, knowing that he had to get something down on paper before the year's end. He supposed that there was still another week to at least get a chapter out. He'd already caught up on all of his work assignments. Robert was right, it might do him some good to get home to Anna now. "You know what. I'll take you up on the offer. Maybe over New Year's I'll take Anna up to Scotland to check on your property and enjoy the sights. Some time away from home might be good."

John rode the train home in silence, contemplating what he could possibly buy for Anna that she would want. The scenery that passed him by outside the window blurred and John was lost in his thoughts. They should have been buying something to make preparations for their baby. Perhaps a crib or a rocking chair for the nursery. Maybe next year, he hoped.

As he got off the train and stepped foot onto the platform John exchanged a "Merry Christmas" with the conductor. His heart wasn't fully in it, but he was determined not to let this turn him into a complete Grinch. There was a man dressed as Santa that stood by the parking lot ringing his bell, collecting change for The Salvation Army. John made a point to drop in whatever spare change he could offer into the bucket.

"God Bless you," was the reply from the man dressed as St. Nick.

"Yes. Yes. Same to you."

As John patted his coat pockets to find his keys he thought he heard a small yelp that garnered his attention. He looked around to determine where the sound had come from. Sure enough the sound came again and louder. The only place John could spot nearby that obstructed his view was the dumpster placed up against the back wall of the train station. He walked the short distance over to the trash receptacle and as his steps came to a halt the yelping stopped as well. The gravel crunched beneath his feet as he started to head back towards his car, when suddenly whatever was in the dumpster began to whimper. John lifted the lid and poked his head over the edge of the dumpster and spotted what appeared to be a small golden retriever puppy sitting on top of a small stack of garbage bags. The puppy attempted to stand on its hind legs in an effort to reach up to meet John, but lost it's balance on the shifting weight of the garbage bags and stumbled backwards. But it was not to be deterred. Within seconds it was back up on its tiny paws attempting to make contact with its rescuer.

"How in the heck?" John muttered to himself. He just couldn't fathom how a puppy could wind up in a such a place. It clearly couldn't have hopped in there on its own. It couldn't have been in there long since it was nearly at the bottom of the dumpster. He turned his head to look for the culprit nearby. People could be so cruel. John shook his head in dismay. The puppy let out the biggest bark it could as if to say "What are you waiting for?"

"Hold on. I'm coming," John said.

The puppy tilted its head to one side trying to discern what John had just said. He grew quiet as John tried to figure out the best way to retrieve the puppy without climbing in. After a few minutes John realized there was no way around it. "Anna's gonna kill me, you know? She just bought me this jacket last Christmas." The puppy's mouth opened wide, its tongue hanging out giving the impression that it was smiling wide up at John.

A few seconds later John was up to his ankles in trash and was retrieving the poor mite. He placed the puppy into his jacket pocket and began working on pulling himself back out of the dumpster. Once they were in the clear and on firmer footing John retrieved the pup from his pocket to get a good look at him. "All right, let's have a look at you." He checked to see that there were no lesions or broken bones. All in all, the poor thing appeared to be in good shape. "So...you're a boy."

The pup's eyebrows lifted and shifted back and forth, unable to tell by John's tone if he was happy or not.

"Well, let's see about cleaning you up. I can't guarantee you can stay with us forever, but we'll see about finding you a good home. Maybe Rob will take you in. God knows he's got the room for it." The puppy began to wriggle in John's hands. His head reaching out to lick his rescuers face. John began to chuckle. "You certainly are cute. Can't imagine why someone would have thrown you out."

Before long they were home. John had found some scraps of chicken from the leftovers in the fridge and the little fella gobbled it up with haste. Once finished the puppy began to paw at John's leg, whimpering for more. "Goodness me. You're going to eat someone out of house and home," John joked. He dug through their pantry and found a can of tuna fish. "This is all we have for now. When Anna gets home I'll head out to the store to go get you some dog food." He set the can opener aside and emptied the contents onto a plate. The puppy promptly began eating before John could even finish pulling his hand away. "Well I'm glad to see you aren't a picky eater."

When Anna arrived home she saw John's wallet and keys on the counter. The sound of the shower running was going on upstairs. She made her way up in hopes of joining him but was taken aback by the ungodly smell coming from their hallway. There was a trail of dirtied clothes on the floor including his pea coat. Anna let herself into the bathroom, steam escaping as the door opened. She meant to inquire about the mess when she heard a small bark come from inside the shower. Anna slid the glass door to reveal John standing in the shower with a lather of shampoo in his hair and a puppy covered in a similar fashion of soap suds. "What on earth?"

"You're home," he said cheerfully.

"I am. Although I'm not sure it's mine," she quipped. There was still a look of confusion about her face.

"I can explain…" he began.

"Please do."

The puppy chimed in with a bark, it's big, brown eyes met with Anna's and she smiled.

"We were both dirty and I couldn't just leave him wandering around the house unattended while I showered so I brought him in with me," he reasoned.

"Him? You bought a dog?"

"He didn't have a collar," John explained. "I didn't buy him, I found him. I can tell you all about it once I'm out. I promise to clean up the mess when I'm done."

"You just get yourselves cleaned up. I'll get the laundry going; our hallway smells like the dead right now."

A few hours later, after some deliberation, John and Anna were sitting on the couch watching Christmas movies. The newest member of their family comfortably lying in his new bed, next to the comfort of a roaring fire. They still hadn't settled on a name for him just yet. There were the usual names tossed around, they weren't horrible but they didn't seem to be a fit. Nothing that either of them were in love with. The two of them were still getting a glimpse of his little personality.

Anna drew lazy circles on John's chest, the sound of his heart beating through his white pullover shirt. Her eyes glanced over at the spot where their tree normally sat. Its bright, twinkling, colored lights setting the room a glow. A pang of guilt washed over her. "It doesn't feel like Christmas this year does it?" she whispered.

"No. Not quite," John muttered back in a low voice.

"I'm sorry I put a ban on Christmas," she apologized.

"It's quite all right. I understand," he said with a sigh. Him probably better than most. "I wasn't exactly in the Christmas spirit either." John placed a kiss on her forehead and squeezed her tightly. "I know things didn't go how we planned…" There was hurt and regret in his voice as it trailed off. Anna would have been sitting beside him like she was now, her belly finally starting to show as their baby made its presence known. But it was not to be. "But at least we have something to celebrate this year," John said as his eyes travelled over to their dog. "I promise. Next year will be better."

She wanted to believe him, but Anna didn't want to get her hopes up.

Sensing her doubts he spoke up. "We'll have a baby, Anna. Even if we have to adopt. I'll do whatever it takes, Love."

In her heart she knew he meant every word that he said. His love for her was strong and true.

"For now, let's just have a very, merry Christmas," he said sweetly.

Anna kissed him softly and stroked his cheek. Tears filled her eyes and she said, "I love you, John."

"I love you," he replied.

It was quiet for a little while longer before she spoke up again. "I'm glad you found him. I'd hate to think of him hurt and alone on Christmas." Her voice was growing thick with sleep; she sounded so tired.

"I think he found us. I can't explain it, but just before I found him a man dressed as Santa said, 'God bless you'. Maybe it was the universe's way at giving us a chance to heal."

"Chance?" Anna mumbled to herself.

John could see the wheels spinning in her head.

"We should call him, Chance," Anna murmured as she snuggled closer into John's chest. It had been a long and exhausting day.

"Chance?" John said warming to the name. A smile erupted across his face. "I love it." He glanced back over at the tiny ball of fluff that had wriggled his way into their hearts when they needed it most. "Merry Christmas, Chance."

The puppy let out a content sigh as it burrowed deeper into the blanket Anna had placed over him.

"Merry Christmas, my darling." John turned to look at his wife when she didn't respond. A smile took over his face as he watched Anna sleeping peacefully. It had been months since he'd seen her sleep like that. His beautiful Anna had made him fall in love with the holiday, his greatest wish was for her to do the same all over again.

* * *

 **Christmas 2010**

"Can I get you anything love?" John asked.

Anna hadn't even heard the question. She'd been lost in her thoughts. Their baby had just begun move over the past week, but Anna still hadn't grown accustomed to the feeling yet. It also hadn't lost it's ability to take her by surprise or draw a smile upon her face. Each time she felt their baby tumble inside of her it was a lovely reminder that all of this was real. After years of trying their efforts had been rewarded. It had required some medical intervention, but Anna was all too happy to oblige so long as she was able hold a tiny bundle of joy that was equal parts her and John. She let her hand come to rest on the spot where their baby was pushing out just beneath her ribs. When she pushed back a little the movement ceased and was followed by an appendage sliding from one side of her belly to the other.

Chance, who was never far from Anna's side, inched closer to her so his nose nudged her belly. His ears perked up at the movement coming from Anna's growing belly. He fired off one of his infamous "boof"s; it was a cross between a bark and a woof, but he did it softly so as not to alarm John or Anna. Their dog had already taken a liking to his future sibling and it warmed Anna's heart to know that their baby already had a forever friend and protector. She suspected the two would get into all sorts of mischief and have the greatest adventures.

"Anna?" John asked with a hint of concern. "Is everything alright?"

"We're perfectly fine," she reported. "The baby is just rolling over."

John beamed proudly. He had never thought it possible to love or yearn for someone so much that he had never even met. But somehow knowing that their baby was a little part of his wife only made him love it more. As long as he lived he'd never forget the way their baby had come to fruition.

 _After consulting a specialist, it had been recommended that the two of them take some time off to relax. John had spoken to Robert and arranged to take Anna with him to check in on their property in Scotland. It was a luxurious week alone of seeing the sights, drinking wine, and making love at all hours of the day. She'd never looked more beautiful to him than she had on that trip. And he'd vowed to her that no matter what, he'd ensure she was always happy and loved._

 _A few months after they returned, John arrived home from work to find Anna cooking up something that smelled heavenly. She was blasting music and singing while dancing around the kitchen with Chance who was nearly full size by then._

" _Are we having a party?" John teased when he snuck up behind her to give her a squeeze._

" _We are," Anna said followed by a laugh. She kissed him quickly before turning her attentions back towards the kitchen. "Turns out we have much to celebrate today," she called out over her shoulder as she walked away._

 _If it wasn't for the way she'd made the comment, John would have been far too distracted with the way her hips swayed as she moved to remove the roast from the oven. "We do?" he inquired softly. Internally he was panicking. His brain began scrolling through a Rolodex of important dates: past, present, and future. Had he forgotten some sort of big achievement? It wasn't her birthday and it wasn't their anniversary. It wasn't his birthday, either._

" _Mmmhhmm," Anna confirmed. She nodded eagerly as she placed the roast onto the serving dish._

 _John looked over at Chance and bent down to greet him with an ear rub. He whispered softly to the golden retriever "What is she talking about, boy?"_

 _Chance responded with a look of confusion._

 _John continued to speak to his ally, "If you help me out I'll be sure to get you some of that pot roast."_

 _Chance's focus on the mouth watering meat in the pan was unwavering. Still salivating, Chance immediately sat up at full attention and barked happily as he trotted over to Anna. The pup lightly pawed at her leg looking for a hand out of scraps. When she refused he let out a rather pitiful cry until Anna gave in._

" _Lot of good that did," John thought to himself. He could swear that their dog was part human sometimes. He began to chuckle when Chance chewed rather proudly on a piece of meat as if to show John that he'd still get his way no matter what._

" _What's so funny over there?" Anna asked._

" _Nothing." John said as he loosened his tie and removed it. "Is there anything to drink?"_

" _There certainly is. Wine!"_

" _Wine? That's very racy of you," he said with a mischievous smirk. He knew what Anna was like when wine came into play._

" _I am racy," she said shamelessly. "Go ahead and pour some wine for yourself," she instructed. "The bottle is on the table."_

" _Just myself?" he asked waiting for confirmation._

" _Mmmhhmm," she responded._

 _Anna never usually passed up the chance to drink at least one glass. He looked at the label on the bottle. "Isn't this the same wine we drank in Scotland?" His voice trailed off as the penny dropped. She'd been feeling out of sorts the last few weeks and the timing was right. He couldn't even recall for certain now when her last cycle had occurred. John turned to face Anna who was waiting patiently for him to come to the conclusion on his own. "Anna…what are we drinking to?"_

 _She took a deep breath to steady herself. Anna wanted to remember every detail about this moment. Her next few words would solidify the news for both of them, and change their lives for good in the best possible way. "The future. And your Scottish blood," she said with a barely containable grin._

" _Oh, God." His eyebrows raised in understanding and tears began to fill his eyes. He wouldn't let them fall until he heard the words from her lips._

 _She crossed the kitchen to hold his hand. Her thumb brushed across his wedding band. Anna's eyes looked up through her long lashes and he saw she had tears of her own._

 _John used the pad of his thumb to wipe them away. "Really?" He stood frozen in place. A million thoughts swirling through his head, but all of them good. Visions of a little one with her blonde hair and blue eyes playing in the backyard, being bathed in the tub, or swaddled by Anna as she sang their baby to sleep. Their life's happiness hinging on her response._

" _Really."_

" _Oh, my love," John said as he fell to his knees and kissed her stomach. His hands cradling the practically invisible swell that was their baby. John wrapped his arms around her legs to hug her, his ear resting against Anna's abdomen. "Thank God and you," he uttered. John rose back up to his feet and pressed his lips against his wife's. "You're incredible, my darling. Absolutely marvelous," he praised._

" _Well, I didn't do it on my own," she pointed out._

" _When did you find out? How are you feeling?"_

" _I suspected a week ago, but I didn't want to jinx it." Her cycle had not always been a reliable source, and they had false positives before. "I already had an appointment coming up with my doctor and asked if he could check. I took the test yesterday, but the lab didn't call back until this morning. I didn't want to tell you over the phone."_

 _He wished she'd told him when she first suspected so he could've worried with her. But he understood her reasoning for not doing so. John was just so overjoyed that she was pregnant, he couldn't find it in himself to be cross with her for not sharing the news sooner._

" _I feel fine. The nausea comes and goes, but at least now I know why. I'm almost ten weeks gone. They need me to come back later this week for a procedure so I don't miscarry." Her eyes faltered and looked down at the ground. She didn't want to let dark thoughts consume her. This was meant to be a joyous occasion. They'd caught the pregnancy in time to insert a cervical cerclage._

" _Procedure? Nothing too serious I hope."_

" _There's some risk involved, yes. But we both know I can't carry the baby to term on my own."_

 _John's face fell at the comment. He knew she was right. He just wished that the procedure didn't have to put his wife at risk. John didn't know what he'd do if he lost Anna._

 _As if reading his thoughts Anna lifted his chin with her finger so that he was looking her in the eye. "Let's just hope this is the only hurdle we have to face with this pregnancy." Anna guided his hand to cup her stomach and kissed her husband. "We're finally going to have a Baby Bates."_

John's train of thought was broken by the sound of his mother milling about in the kitchen to help them prepare a Christmas feast fit for a king. He helped Margaret to set the table and drain the pasta. All the while his eyes were focused on Anna. Watching his wife now in her sixth month of pregnancy it was hard to believe how quickly time was passing. The last five Christmases had been in the presence of the woman who would eventually become his wife, and with each passing year his life had become all the more full. How surreal it was to think that this would be their last Christmas before their baby arrived. John was sure that his mother was just as excited at the prospect of spoiling her future grandchild as they were.

"Mum is nearly done with the lasagna," John announced as he wiped his hand on a dishcloth. "The bread only needs another five minutes in the oven and the salad is all done."

"You're both darlings for doing all that," Anna praised. The wonderful aroma had filled their home and Anna had grown to be just as hungry as their baby. "Are you sure I can't help you with anything? Now, if the job requires squatting, bending over, or fitting into small spaces I'm afraid I'll be off no use to you," she said half joking.

"You're not to lift a finger, my darling. The doctor said you need to start taking it easy so as not to tire yourself out and I agree. Mum is on my side, so don't go thinking you can sway her," John added.

"Yes sir," Anna replied.

"Now...can I do anything for you? Bring you anything? A blanket? Something to snack on? A foot massage?" John offered.

"No, I'm very well cared for and comfortable on this couch. Though I may have to use the loo again before dinner."

"Let me help you up then," John insisted.

"I'll be fine. I can still manage some things on my own," Anna insisted. She pressed a hand to her back which had grown sore from the added weight, but she knew it was a sign of good things to come.

John signaled to Chance and her constant shadow was soon on his feet trotting close behind.

"How is she? Be honest with me," Margaret implored.

"She's very well. I just worry. Even still I worry. I'm afraid the feeling won't pass until our baby is here. But whenever she is around I'm the picture of optimism. If this is my burden as a husband then I shall gladly take it on, if it means she can remain carefree," John responded.

Margaret turned to face her son. "I've said this to you many times before my boy, but I've never meant it more than I do now. I'm ever so proud of you."

John began to argue, but Margaret would not allow her son to put himself down. "John, you've been a wonderful husband and you'll be a wonderful father."

"Thank you, Mum," John said. He bent down slightly to hug her tightly.

"I couldn't agree with you more, Margaret" Anna said as she made her presence known.

Margaret pulled away from John to embrace her daughter-in-law. "Oh my dear girl, words can never fully express how much good it does my heart to see you with my Johnny. Knowing that you have made him so happy and that soon he'll have a family of his own…well...no mother could ask for more than that."

Anna was moved to tears as she held her mother in law in her arms.

Margaret pulled away, "We should all take a seat. The food is ready and I'm sure the little one is hungry."

John pulled out a chair for Anna.

Anna quickly took a seat and let a hand come to rest on the curve of her belly. "Oh yes, he's always hungry," she stated matter of factly. As soon as the words spilled from her lips Anna realized the slip she'd made.

"He?" Margaret asked with wide eyes and a smile that stretched from ear to ear. She looked to John for confirmation, but his face spoke volumes. Anna looked horrified, she had let the cat out of the bag sooner than intended. "Oh Johnny, is it true? Am I going to have a grandson?" his mother asked as she squeezed his arm.

"Well…yes, actually. We were going to tell you after dinner. It was part of our Christmas present to you," John explained.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to spoil the surprise. My brain has turned to mush over the past two months of this pregnancy. It just slipped out," Anna apologized.

"You've spoiled nothing my dear girl. I'm over the moon right now. I was already ecstatic knowing I'd be a grandmother this next year. This little bit of news is just the cherry on top." Margaret reached up to kiss her son on the cheek and hugged her daughter in law once more. "Anna, having a son is a tremendous blessing. There's nothing quite like the bond between mother and son."

"Yes. We're both looking forward to it," Anna commented.

John went over to the tree and pulled a gift out that had been marked for his mother. "This is for you from both of us. We got you some other things to open later, but I think you'll enjoy this," he said with a gentle smile. Anna held John's free hand as he handed the gift to Margaret.

Margaret quickly ripped through the wrapping paper. Her actions came to a halt as she revealed her gift. "Is this really him?" she asked.

"It is," Anna confirmed. She pointed out for Margaret a spot on the framed sonogram photo. "See that there? That's his heart."

Margaret cooed as she clutched the frame. Her eyes welling up with tears once more.

"It's a good, strong heartbeat, Mum," John added. "It's faster and louder than anything I've ever heard in my life."

They all shared a laugh.

"Have you thought of any names yet?" Margaret inquired.

"Well, John is dead set against it. But I'd like to call him, Jack," Anna said. "What better way to honor the man I love?"

"Jack sounds perfect," Margaret said in agreement.

"I still think the boy deserves a name of his own," John retorted.

"Well, we can save that for the next boy we have," Anna argued playfully. While there were certain aspects of pregnancy that she didn't care for, Anna was already planning on having many more children. As many as God saw fit. She'd been an only child and so was John. The dream of a large family had already been cemented in her mind from those early days with John when they'd first begun to date. Although their plans had been somewhat delayed, it was happening now, and that was all that really mattered to Anna.

John grimaced, still not fully in love with their son inheriting his first name.

"I tell you what. You grant me this wish, and whenever we have a girl you can name her anything you want," Anna said with her hand extended.

"Deal," John said confidently as he shook Anna's hand.

* * *

 **Christmas 2016**

It was Christmas morning. His most favorite of holidays. The only other person who could surpass John's excitement about this day was his gorgeous wife. After all, she had opened his eyes to the magical way this time of year could take over one's heart. And now their children were old enough to enjoy it with them. Well most of them anyway. John looked down at their newest bundle of joy, only a few months old, nursing at Anna's breast. Their youngest daughter had taken after John with dark hair and the most beautiful set of hazel eyes Anna had ever seen. This had suited Anna just fine as all of the rest of their children had garnered looks that fell in Anna's favor. Sophia had come as an unexpected surprise, or maybe it shouldn't have been given their ability to get pregnant over the last six years. It seemed that once their first born, Jack, had arrived their luck had turned.

His eyes were transfixed on the warmth and beauty his wife exuded whenever she was with one of their children; especially in such a vulnerable position with her breast exposed as their child found its nourishment from Anna. John was sprawled out on the bed beside Anna, his head propped up by his hand, as his arm rested on the mattress. A loose lock of hair fell forward over his eyebrow and into his eyeline. A small thatch of chest hair poked over the brim of his shirt and his forearms were free of their usual dress shirt for work. Anna's stomach did a flip at the sight. Her husband really didn't have any clue how sexy he could be even in a white t-shirt and worn out, blue striped, pajama bottoms. They were an old favorite of John's, and one that Anna had desperately been trying to get rid of for years. Despite her many efforts to buy him new pair each Christmas, John still insisted on wearing _that_ set.

Anna's eyes met his and he smiled sweetly back at her. The finger of his free hand moved to caress the small, thick, brown curls at the back of their baby's head. "I miss them being this small," he said. "A part of me wishes they'd stay that way forever."

Anna let out a soft yawn before responding to his statement. "It's a lot of work, I'll admit. But I know what you mean. I wouldn't trade these moments with our babies for anything in the world."

"We'll have to treasure this one a little more," he noted.

Anna nodded in agreement already understanding full well what he was referring to. Sophie would be their last baby. They couldn't have another if they tried. Complications during Anna's last pregnancy had sealed their fate on that note. But they were lucky to have been blessed with four others. Each one a character in their own right, each one just as lovely as the last. After Jack they'd been blessed with a set of twin boys, Michael and Connor. Just as they'd finally nailed down being parents to three children they found out another baby Bates was on the way. This time it was a girl. Contrary to what Anna expected, John didn't go with some version of her own name instead he settled on Olivia. When Anna saw her husband hold their baby girl for the first time her heart swelled with pride and John looked pleased as punch. They were truly lucky to have found one another and to have created the life that they'd always wanted.

Now as he watched their last baby drink from her mother John fell deeper in love with his wife. Her raw strength had never been more evident than when they struggled to have a child. And then she surpassed that as she carried each of their babies. Anna outdid herself again when she gave birth to each of their children. Her capacity to love and care for others was endless; a force of nature if there ever was one. "You're marvelous," he whispered softly so as not to disturb Sophia. "Do you know that?"

"Me? Why?" She responded back in an equally low voice.

"You just are," he answered.

"I'm wearing a shirt that's probably covered in spit up," she pointed out. John smirked at her comment. "My hair's a mess. I'm certain of that," Anna added as her eyes looked up in an attempt to see her hair. "I have bags under my eyes from not getting enough sleep…"

"All of that had to do with looks, my darling," he said firmly. "And I don't care about all of that. You will always be beautiful to me. No matter how tired you are, how old you are, how messy your hair is, or what you're wearing. Spit up included."

"Silly beggar," Anna scolded softly. She shifted her top and moved Sophia up to her shoulder to burp her.

"Shall I go fetch the rest of our children to open Christmas presents?" he asked.

"Let's wait five more minutes. Then this one will be ready to go down soon and I can help you wrangle them," she replied.

"Mum can help out too. I'm sure she'd be more than happy to hold Sophie while we open gifts."

"Thank God for that. I love our brood, but it's hard finding time to give each of them their own time with us."

John knew exactly how she felt. It was hard to split their time between four children, now there were five of them. One day each week John or Anna would take one child on their out for a date to the park or the movies just the two of them. It gave the parents a chance to reconnect with their children individually and talk out any problems they may have been facing. Thankfully the twins didn't seem to mind doing their dates with Mummy or Daddy as a unit. That cut the work down a bit. Occasionally John would take the girls while Anna took the boys. Still this left the couple with little free time to themselves.

It was a miracle they even conceived the baby laying in her arms, as they could barely find a moment alone anymore. But the previous year they'd convinced Cora and Robert to watch the children for them so Anna could take John out for a night on the town to celebrate his birthday. A few glasses of wine later and a tumble in the hotel bed was all it had taken. A few weeks later Anna was faced with yet another positive pregnancy test. Only for once she wasn't sure how John would react. They were already well outnumbered with four children. But when she told John the news he responded very happily with "what's one more." He joked that his only request was that it be another girl.

"I can't believe they're still asleep, they must have tried staying up all night waiting for Santa," John said.

"What time did you end up putting the gifts out there?"

"Shortly after you finished up with her 2am feed," he answered back in a tired voice. He kissed the tips of Sophie's fingers and watched as their baby girl smiled in her sleep. John turned his attention back to Anna, "I even managed to sneak in a surprise for you that I think you'll enjoy."

"I'm still nursing the last surprise you gave me," she joked.

"Hardy, har, har," John said. He rose up to kiss Anna. "I'll get the coffee going for me and mum, and tea for you."

"Thank you," she replied.

Ten minutes later John had the video camera ready to film their children's reaction to the goodies Santa had left behind. Anna crept into the boys' room to wake them while John carried Olivia in his free arm. Their eldest daughter was still half asleep and snuggling into the crook of John's neck.

"Good morning my angels," Anna said. She tickled the bottoms of their feet hanging out from the ends of their blankets.

Chance stirred in his comfy spot at the foot of Jack's bed, but he didn't have the energy to get up just yet. Instead he yawned rather over-dramatically causing everyone in the room to laugh. The poor dog had a full time job keeping up with four restless children, but he took it all in stride. They couldn't ask for a more loyal companion for their children. Whenever one of the children were sick Chance was quick to cuddle up next to them in bed, ever the vigilant nurse. Chance had been there to help each of their children learn to crawl and walk. He even helped served as an ally for getting rid of unwanted veggies off their plates. A habit Anna was not fond of, but didn't have the heart to correct.

"Mummy!" Michael exclaimed. Their four year old stretched his arms out to receive a hug from his mother.

"Hi baby," Anna greeted him warmly. Her arms wrapped around Michael to hug him.

"Is it Christmas now?" Connor asked.

"It certainly is my love bug," Anna said as she kissed Connor.

Jack had already risen from his bed and came up behind Anna to throw his arms around her neck. "Merry Christmas, Mummy," he said softly before kissing her on the cheek. It was a gesture he'd picked up from watching his father. At nearly six years old Jack was growing like a weed. His once bright blonde hair had begun to turn a little darker and he was starting to grow into his long limbs. She predicted that out of all her boys, Jack would be most likely to take after John. Ever since he was born he'd been John's shadow; from mimicking her husband's facial expressions down to his mannerisms, but it didn't bother Anna in the slightest.

"Kwis-mas?" Olivia asked. At two years old her vocabulary was expanding, though she still needed a bit of help with pronouncing things. A part of him wanted to correct her, but he knew her days of 'baby talk' wouldn't last much longer. Much like the effect her brothers had on her mother, Olivia had her Daddy wrapped around her little finger. Olivia could rough and tumble with the best of them but she'd also inherited her mother's softer side. It was a quality that John greatly admired and brought him so much joy to see his wife's mini me toddling around their house.

"Yes my sweetheart. It's Christmas." John kissed his eldest daughter causing her to giggle.

"Itchy Daddy!" Olivia squealed.

"Sorry. Mummy enjoys my scruff," John said with a smile.

Anna winked back at him as she stifled a laugh.

"Can we open presents now?" Michael and Connor asked in unison.

"Can we, Mummy?" Jack inquired.

"Shall we see if Santa came?" John asked as he placed Olivia on the ground.

Chance came to life as he jumped off the bed and stretched. Within seconds he was helping to round up the boys. Chance playfully nudged Michael and Connor out of bed using his nose.

The children cheered and began running down the hallway to head downstairs. When the children reached the bottom of the stairs they froze in their tracks.

"Wook!" Olivia shouted. Her finger pointed to a set of white shoe prints that went from the fireplace to the tree.

"Santa's been here," Jack said.

The twins stooped down to investigate the shoe prints more closely. "Santa was here?" Connor asked.

"It certainly looks that way," John said with a wry smile. He continued to film their children scurrying about.

Olivia quickly took charge of the situation and kept insisting the boys not step on the white prints.

Michael and Connor noticed the glass of milk and cookies had been consumed. "The cookies are all gone, Mummy," Michael said.

John rubbed at his stomach and whispered to Anna, "I had to scarf those down in a hurry. I almost forgot about them."

"Had to?" Anna asked skeptically. "Poor baby."

"I'm gonna check to see if the reindeer took the carrots we left outside," Jack proclaimed. He ran toward the back door with Michael and Connor following close behind.

Olivia ran after them yelling, "Wait for me!"

Chance let out a playful bark as he chased Olivia.

John and Anna winced, hoping it wouldn't wake Sophia. They waited a moment to see if she'd stir or wail, but it appeared their youngest was already getting acclimated to their rowdy little bunch. Both parents let out a sigh of relief.

"He really came!" Jack shouted. "The carrots are all gone!"

"Of course he came. Only good girls and boys get gifts from Santa," Anna said.

As their children ran back towards the tree to rip through the wrapping paper of their gifts and empty the contents of their stockings, Anna leaned into John's side and hugged him tightly. "Thank you. For continuing to make each year more magical than the last" She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him deeply.

"I think I owe you a vote of gratitude for doing the same," John said.

"Well...perhaps later when they've all been put to bed you can show me just how grateful you are," Anna suggested quietly enough so his mother couldn't hear.

"It would be my pleasure," John muttered under his breath.

Just then Sophie began to wake from her nap.

"What's a matter wit her Daddy?" Olivia asked with concern.

"She just tired, Liv." John answered.

"But she sweeps all day," Olivia pointed out.

Anna bit back a laugh, she could see there would be no reasoning with their eldest daughter. "You were the same way not that long ago baby girl," Anna cooed as she ran a hand through Olivia's wild hair.

"Nuh uh," Olivia argued. "I never kwied. I'm a big giwl."

"John. Anna. I think she wants you," Margaret said as Sophia began to cry in her arms.

"Let me have her," Anna said.

"I can take her," John insisted. "You've been up with her all night. I can do it for now if you'll take over the video camera."

Anna gladly took the video camera from him and Margaret handed over the baby to John.

"Thanks for your help, Mum."

"It's nothing. I love being around my grandbabies," Margaret said. Within seconds her attention was taken up by Michael and Connor who were showing off their stocking stuffers.

Many years ago, John could not have envisioned himself a family man. And now he wouldn't have it any other way. He bounced their youngest in his arms gently trying to rock her back to sleep as he sat on the couch. He kissed Sophie's forehead and said, "Merry Christmas, baby girl." John's eyes looked up to see that Anna had been filming him and smiled at his lovely wife.

"That was a sweet moment captured on film," Anna said.

"You know what would make it sweeter?" John asked with an impish smile.

"What?"

"If you joined us," John said.

Anna didn't waste any time. She quickly came to sit beside John. Margaret then rounded up the children to sit next to their Mummy and Daddy on the couch. It had taken some persuasion as the children were still rather preoccupied with their new toys. Olivia was holding her new Barbie doll, Michael and Connor each held a dinosaur figure in their hand, and Jack showed off his new airplane. John's mother hurried to grab the camera from her purse. "Now I can have one with all of you to put on my mantle over the fireplace," she said.

"You'll have to give us a copy later."

"Absolutely. Now everyone say cheese.".

"Cheese!" They all said in unison.

"Now we need one with you in it," Anna said. She got up to put the camera on a timer and propped it up on a stack of books. This time Margaret was sitting on the couch as well with Olivia on her lap. "Everyone ready? We have ten seconds." Anna clicked the button and ran over to join the group. Squeezing Jack in for a hug.

"What do we say this time Mummy?" Jack asked.

"Merry Christmas."

The camera flickered to give them a warning that the shot was ready to go off.

"Merry Christmas!" They all said aloud.


End file.
